Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
