I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
