omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
third nipple confirmed
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
