i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
