I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
