He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
