were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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