wrigley field is MILF paradise
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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