I cannot find my penis.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
