We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
