Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
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The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
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I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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