Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
