I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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