No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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