I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
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