so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Randomize
