When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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