escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
