theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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