I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
As shirtless as possible
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
