Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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