Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
