Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize