never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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