sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
