Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think people are normalizing furries
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