Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
