I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
where am i from again
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
