With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
