is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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