Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
