dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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