you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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