Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
