Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
