Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I could make wine with my vomit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I could make wine with my vomit http://tfl.nu/9wng
  Replies (4) Good night (727) Bad night (2713)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up http://tfl.nu/89z7
  Replies (27) Good night (2727) Bad night (4904)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/wt9b
  Replies (14) Good night (849) Bad night (5138)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner. http://tfl.nu/lvfr
  Replies (13) Good night (1944) Bad night (4258)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name. http://tfl.nu/cvf5
  Replies (18) Good night (6472) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear" http://tfl.nu/r2vo
  Replies (7) Good night (6965) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/krux
  Replies (13) Good night (3166) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy http://tfl.nu/16kg
  Replies (12) Good night (961) Bad night (3000)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face. http://tfl.nu/rpml
  Replies (12) Good night (586) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good. http://tfl.nu/n0mb
  Replies (9) Good night (814) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun" http://tfl.nu/k4ww
  Replies (9) Good night (1683) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela. http://tfl.nu/h3z9
  Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party http://tfl.nu/w5qe
  Replies (2) Good night (666) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete. http://tfl.nu/s2yi
  Replies (4) Good night (497) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut. http://tfl.nu/igax
  Replies (6) Good night (277) Bad night (729)

Randomize