Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
