Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up

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  (586): I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up http://tfl.nu/t16c
  Replies (6) Good night (852) Bad night (796)
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  (916): View more from California

  do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?

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  (916): do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won? http://tfl.nu/7jg6
  Replies (29) Good night (2019) Bad night (3583)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..

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  (432): So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone.. http://tfl.nu/o0ep
  Replies (18) Good night (721) Bad night (4372)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..

  (614): View more from Ohio

  ya and it worked didnt it??

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  (412): you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron.. (614): ya and it worked didnt it?? http://tfl.nu/b3g5
  Replies (27) Good night (6540) Bad night (650)
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  (716): View more from New York

  strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them

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  (716): strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them http://tfl.nu/3anm
  Replies (10) Good night (3358) Bad night (1756)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears

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  (865): He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears http://tfl.nu/nyec
  Replies (29) Good night (1324) Bad night (8368)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass

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  (508): Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass http://tfl.nu/5gce
  Replies (26) Good night (4165) Bad night (1175)
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  (714): View more from California

  Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.

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  (714): Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner. http://tfl.nu/auiz
  Replies (5) Good night (4921) Bad night (938)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name

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  (403): I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name http://tfl.nu/7q8a
  Replies (4) Good night (2637) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.

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  (201): I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed. http://tfl.nu/jlau
  Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (1840)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.

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  (479): Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes. http://tfl.nu/b7x1
  Replies (22) Good night (1500) Bad night (749)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.

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  (+44): Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower. http://tfl.nu/m2lh
  Replies (6) Good night (1947) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.

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  (574): I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed. http://tfl.nu/w2ei
  Replies (7) Good night (1692) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.

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  (410): You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks. http://tfl.nu/xjq0
  Replies (1) Good night (282) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.

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  (727): Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner. http://tfl.nu/20ik
  Replies (0) Good night (314) Bad night (384)

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