I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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