Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended

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  (330): ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended http://tfl.nu/6iyq
  Replies (4) Good night (1557) Bad night (635)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence

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  (303): And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open? (1-303): That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence http://tfl.nu/qwl7
  Replies (8) Good night (2585) Bad night (741)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.

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  (904): hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway. http://tfl.nu/oo0k
  Replies (6) Good night (2981) Bad night (867)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.

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  (513): Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well. http://tfl.nu/s9im
  Replies (5) Good night (2909) Bad night (903)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?

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  (701): Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it? http://tfl.nu/2zni
  Replies (9) Good night (2791) Bad night (1234)
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  (714): View more from California

  I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.

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  (714): I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom. http://tfl.nu/8p10
  Replies (19) Good night (3946) Bad night (1669)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.

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  (360): There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line. http://tfl.nu/jhch
  Replies (12) Good night (913) Bad night (2463)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.

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  (617): The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead. http://tfl.nu/eujj
  Replies (3) Good night (775) Bad night (574)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?

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  (+61): So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma? http://tfl.nu/bhgl
  Replies (3) Good night (498) Bad night (716)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.

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  (262): Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs. http://tfl.nu/5llv
  Replies (10) Good night (694) Bad night (384)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.

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  (985): Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods. http://tfl.nu/ey1m
  Replies (5) Good night (1009) Bad night (356)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.

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  (847): It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks. http://tfl.nu/gfjz
  Replies (2) Good night (596) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.

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  (267): He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry. http://tfl.nu/z2cw
  Replies (2) Good night (298) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge

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  (419): He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge http://tfl.nu/86hl
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (509)
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  (714): View more from California

  I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.

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  (714): I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD. http://tfl.nu/naxc
  Replies (4) Good night (306) Bad night (756)

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