i just google imaged poop.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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