so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
