the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
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