Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
