Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
