I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
