OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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