there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
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I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
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if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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