i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf