i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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