is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
They have beer where we have blood.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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