I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
