I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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