everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
