I want to walk on stilts...naked
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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