Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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