Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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