do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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