that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
