I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
