is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
how drunk are you?
Several
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
