I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
