I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
