I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
