careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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