Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
