I just pynch a tree in the face
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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