Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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