If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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